When you're sick

I tried to be sick this weekend when the kids were out of school.  Shaky, feverish, chilled, stomach pains, just weak.  Todd knew something was up when he found me just sitting on the couch.  I never really do that except when I’m making small-talk with someone.  But I had to take Avery to town and Mitchell to our car insurance office.  He got his license the other day, but I told him he was still privy to enrichment lessons when driving with one of his parents.  We also dropped by the library, being that we were already downtown and all.  I was driving home (so he could read).  Down a main, one-way street.  Awesome for a driving instructor.  A Frosty and fries for everyone on the way home (to celebrate still being alive).  By the time we got home I was spent.  I was supposed to go watch Andrew run at his track meet.  I slept instead.  Or tried to.  The door to my room kept opening.  Before I knew it, High School Musical 3 was on the tv and Bronwyn was in my bed, occasionally caressing my head.  The dog needed to sleep beside me.  I tried to sit up and read the paper in my bed after my half-hearted siesta, which worked for a bit.  Then I needed to lie down again.  I heard Callum yell down to Bronwyn that she was in charge of the macaroni and cheese now that he had done all of it to the point of dumping the noodles in.  I figured they had it.  Woke up minutes later to a stench and the kids trying to remedy the burned-on noodles.  What a smell.  I boiled vinegar water and spiced water (cinnamon, cloves).  Nothing worked, it was so intense.  By this time I had to go pick up Avery.  And drop her off at her grandma’s.  The dog threw up in the van on the trip into town.  Too much residual macaroni and—I’m sure—car sickness.  Good grief.  When I got home again, decided I might as well wash the sheets since I wasn’t getting any sleep in them.  And so it went.

And yet being sick is soooo much easier these days!  I usually feel fairly secure that the kids will be around when I wake up if I need to lie down for a minute.  We may have a small fire, but most members will be accounted for. No guarantee what anyone will eat or be doing.  Guaranteed that no dishes will be done.  88% certain the door will open at least 2-3 times—quietly—accompanied by a whispered, “Mom,” scaring me from slumber.  It’s sometimes best just to rest my bones on the couch in the middle of it all to direct the affairs.  And yet, this is a million times easier than being sick with babies.  Or worse, toddlers.

Do any of you remember what that was like?  Maybe a lot of you are still living the dream.  Wow.  There’s just nothing that resembles taking time off for being sick, unless another adult is in charge.  There’s no way you could take a nap and  just hope he stays on the couch for Barney or Land Before Time or Walking with Dinosaurs (I have no idea what shows kids watch these days, these are the ones we had when I mine were little).  It could look like the perfect set-up, things should stay pretty stable for one short 20-minute time-out you think to yourself, 40 winks is all you need when you’re sick, just enough to take you over the hump.  But after a few experiences, you don’t even bother trying as a young mom.  You just gear up for the day and push through any kind of discomfort or sickness you’re dealt.  It’s just not worth it to try it any other way.

But I tried, in my mini-trial—my couple of sick days—to really be mindful.  I was thankful for this little incident because it reminded me of what other sick people might love.  I didn’t want anything to eat, so that made me wonder if bringing food really is the best thing to do for a sick friend.  Our go-to means of showing compassion.  And maybe it is, for the family.  So maybe something other than sick-people-food like soup would be better next time.  I checked out our house.  I tried to find the bomb.  I wanted a cleaning service.  No, I wanted my kids to be the cleaning service.  So I hired the two little ones for $1 each to clean the kitchen.  It was beyond the scope of their normal kitchen chores, but it was manageable.  A good deal on both ends.  But maybe I could do this for a close friend. I longed to clean my bathroom and to get the laundry started; maybe she’d feel the same.  I wanted someone to play games with my kids or to take them outside to a park.  I hated that they watched so much tv and played on the computer.  And yet, I let them because I felt like little else.  A good idea for next time, take her kids.  I couldn’t focus on any of my seven books on my headboard.  So I watched a fluff movie, a romantic one I won’t even tell you the name of, it was so fluffy.  And so, here and there, throughout the days, I caught a glimpse of what life feels like from a patient bed.  It was a good way to really get on the inside track.  I rarely ever get sick.  I don’t know why, it’s just not in my deck.  So I was grateful a) that it was short-lived, super short-lived, b) for a chance to empathize with how lame sickness makes a person feel and c) to understand what might be helpful the next time a friend of mine gets sick.  I kind of do wonder about the timing of it all since I had just barely returned my library copy of How to Be a Friend to a Friend Who’s Sick that morning.  I wondered if subconsciously my inner-me was excited to test the premise out.  Just kind of interesting timing, I thought.