Our kids’ best friends stayed the week with us while their family was gone (work/drivers ed); they’re 18 and 15 and here so often, they feel more like our nieces and nephews than our real ones do.
I remember first getting to know this family. Our kids all started becoming friends at school and so that first Christmas theirs was one of the families our kids chose to take treats to. I was so nervous walking up their stairs. I hate scary situations like these, not knowing people, introducing ourselves at the door with nothing to hide behind but a paper plate of cookies and our smiles, pretending like it’s totally natural, something we do all the time and not a big deal. But of course you know how things like that work out, usually just super. They have kids for every age in our family and our paths eventually started to cross more regularly and we’ve become great friends. We absolutely adore and love this family, from the parents all the way down to the littlest. They’ve all spent countless hours at our house, and our kids would give us up in a heartbeat if they could live at their house. So having two of their kids for a week was heavenly.
And so when my son leaves in just a few weeks, he’s taking his friend with him. I can’t wait to hear all about their adventures. I’m terribly excited for them; they’re itching to try on their independence, and I’m anxious to live college all over again. From a distance. But what’s surprising me is how much I’m going to miss not only my son, but his friends, especially the twins from this family.
Because I’ve loved it so much when they just walk in, that they know where our cups are. I love that they seem to feel completely at ease and comfortable here. I love that we can all sit around the table and talk and talk and talk through the evening. I love that they play games with Todd and the other dads as if they’re all the same age. I love that they ask us questions and for advice. I love hearing their opinions, their take on high school and the world and girls. I love that they have a plan for the future but at the same time not exactly.
So this week was fun. I loved falling asleep listening to them playing games. I loved that there were more people to cook for and to care about, to make sure they had rides and snacks. I loved having another big brother and sister around for my littles. But now they’re gone and our house is decidedly emptier. I’ll put away the beds and wash the towels. I’ll cook a little less tomorrow night and I’ll have to face leftovers, something they were so good at taking care of for me. I know I’ll miss them.
I think what I loved most was just all the talking, just sitting around laughing and teasing them, hearing what they think about all sorts of things. I love that they were comfortable with us, that they’d hang out with us. I guess they’re pretty used to being with all their adult friends, they’ve grown up and become friends to all of us over the years, not just our kids. And maybe that’s just it.
Because I’m not normally a teen-person. Wasn’t even as a teen. I’ve always felt awkward around teenagers. I think because I’m so serious and practical and literal. An older spirit, or at least old-fashioned. Decidedly un-fun. Not really into gossip or drama or pop culture or even politics. I like to be alone and go to bed early. I’ve never been cool or hip or the grown up that the kids want to ride with. I endured life as a teen, but I’ve managed to avoid teens for the most part since except for an occasional stint as a substitute teacher or short-term leader here and there. Until the past few years since we’ve had teenagers.
I love that because we've had our own teens, we've automatically interacted with other teens more. In incremental ways that have helped me feel at ease. Our kids and their friends have been so open and patient as they teach us what’s going on in school and in their circles. What the culture’s like, what they’re thinking. I just love having these young people around, a fresher, less jaded version of adults and yet with sound insight and perspective. We've been so blessed over the years to have all sorts of teens around, some have moved on already, but they've all managed to become embedded in our hearts. They have grown up to be some of our closest friends, and I'm just so grateful for the chance to have played a small part in their lives, so glad they've trusted us, that they've accepted us, that they've let us share these years with them. I love hearing their news as they continue on with their lives, I love that they check in and hug us as if we really are the aunt and uncle I feel we are.
As these teens left after the week, I knew not to be too sad. I knew I’d see them in a day or so. I knew we’d hang out again with their family, we always do. It was more than just enjoying their company though. It was being a mom to a couple more kids, just like I’ve always wanted. Especially as our kids continue to leave, I mourn the fact that we have no more littles at the bottom of the ranks and that they’re taking these friends we’ve grown to love with them. I didn’t expect to have my heart wrapped around them like this, but even with a little ache as the time winds down, I continue to love and cherish the teen years. I may have floundered the first time around and with most teens still, but I have absolutely loved having teens of our own. Todd and I both agree these have been our favorite years with our kids. And I think part of that has been that our family has been enlarged as they’ve brought friends like these into our lives and our hearts.
