I can totally see why we get labeled as a peculiar people. When I try to see us from an outsider’s perspective, I get it. One instance comes to mind. It was in preparation for a lesson on self-preparedness one Sunday a few years back in the middle of winter. Friday afternoon members of our congregation were given a packet with instructions following a mock blizzard or some other natural disaster. Basically, we had to live as if we had no power until church that Sunday and we had to use whatever we had in the house, no buying anything. Every family was given the same instructions and invitation to participate. We had no idea what the experiment would entail, so there was no way to prepare for it during the week. It stressed me out just thinking about what we’d have to do for an entire week. As you can imagine, families responded in a variety of ways.
Basically, it meant we couldn’t take showers or flush toilets. It could get cold (but we slept by the fireplace, plenty toasty). I have no idea what we ate, but I remember it wasn’t a big deal (we do a lot of camping). It got dark early. We used our flashlights and a lot of candles. But this was the best part: we played games as long as we were awake. And went to bed at a decent hour.
What did we learn from our experience? To buy unscented candles. To have a little extra of everything on hand. Our experiment was complete that morning before church, and we were excited to finally take showers. But it was kind of a let-down to be back to normal to be honest.
Our kids have asked repeatedly over the years if we could do this again. We’ve never obliged. Obviously, we've had power outages since, bouts with no water, but those have been intermittent times, emergencies of only the smallest degree. They tend to make everyday tasks a little uncomfortable and inconvenient, but they not only help us assess where we can do better and force us to think outside the box and to work together, but they unite us a family, as a team. When we have to go without our normal conveniences, we have to somehow get around the mentality of flipping on a switch or looking something up or entertaining ourselves with electronics. We're forced to dig through the pockets of time, searching for approaches to life we'd discarded years ago.
I was talking with a couple of friends about just this thing yesterday, as they and relatives had to muddle through the weekend without power. They managed just fine; yet I was intrigued that their overarching complaint was that they were bored. So interesting. I’m not sure this would’ve been the case twenty years ago.
Todd and I recently came across an idea highlighted on NPR, where people pay hundreds to attend camps to essentially be forced to unplug from their digital world. And I know there are movements across the country like this encouraging us to put our phones and devices away for stretches of time.
And this is what our kids intuitively picked up on during this funny weekend, what we adults are finally cluing into. The kids loved having our attention and togetherness. I think they liked having to make do creatively. I think they actually liked having no distractions. The coziness of candlelight and togetherness and games on the rug in front of the fireplace. Sleeping somewhere new. Feeling peaceful and calm and snug in our refuge.
Why are we waiting for a storm or emergency situation? I wonder why we don’t create pockets of time like this with our families more often. Every evening perhaps, maybe part of a weekend, a camping trip where we leave devices at home, the inconceivable: a road trip where entertainment doesn’t consist of everyone residing in their own tidy, isolated world of devices but instead the entire family listens to audio books or music or talks. Or maybe just looks out the window taking in the scenery and playing the license plate game. I know. We're hearing it too.
Prepare for melt-down. For sure. But we’re used to tantrums, we’ve been parenting for a long, long time. The things that start out hard, that we know are good for our families, that we insist on, usually pay huge dividends in the end. I’m just not convinced that constantly being plugged in is the best way to raise a strong and cohesive family. Even if it is the new normal for the world, so are a lot of other things that unwise and unhealthy. As a mom, as just a regular person with a brain, I can see the merit in taking some time to get away from the distractions of life and to slow down and to reconnect in old-fashioned ways. And not just when we’re forced to because the power’s gone out. I just think our kids aren’t that different from yours. They are obviously growing up in a digital age and enjoy the amenities as much as anyone. And yet, it’s telling that they relished the experience of not having them, of having our attention and company, of being together not doing much at all. I wonder if, after an initial breakdown, yours might feel the same. Just something to think about. (Maybe accidentally hit the power switch to the house this afternoon and see what happens.)
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