Not your traditional Valentine's Day

Todd kind of smirks at holidays like this, certain it’s just a Hallmark gimmick that others are taking a ride on as well, another way to milk men.  Funny how over the years your married opinions kind of meld and you’re not sure whose opinion it was first, but you’re kind of on the same page

In the depths of my heart, I think I still love silly holidays and everything the magazines tout:  the associated crafts and foods and decorations.  But I don’t really engage.  I skirt the edge.  I loved making sugar cookies with the kids last weekend, but I forgot to make heart-shaped red pancakes this morning.  I like making our red dinner and putting together bags of candy for their beds or plates, but I’m not into making cutesy class Valentines that I see ideas for all over the place.  I love the idea of a fancy dinner, flowers, chocolates, perfume.  It’s all so pretty and romantic.  But I’m not into it.  I don’t want our grocery money going to expensive flowers, I still have perfume left, and you know I only like See’s.  Mostly I just want to hang out as a family.

Two Valentine’s memories stand out.  One was as a freshman in college, and my aunt asked me to come to dinner on Valentine’s Day.  As soon as I got there, they disappeared and I discovered that Todd had made me a perfectly delicious dinner for just the two of us.  I couldn’t believe he (and my aunt and her family) would go to that much work just for me.  Really.  I was stunned.  I loved it.  But we had to hurry because we had a lecture back on campus we had to get to.  We had just shared our first kiss the night before, so it was hard not to linger.

Another one was about four years ago when we’d saved up to buy a flat screen tv.  We had the cash, but I had so many other good ideas for it.  We were fine with our big box one, I kept telling him, but Todd insisted I go buy it before the sale ended.  The whole family was on board, “You can watch Conference on it, mom.”  I’d known embarrassment before, but I immediately added this moment to the list.  There is no way to blend in while carting a large tv through Costco.  Happened to be Valentine’s Day, so I got us a romantic comedy to watch later.  Kids loved the new tv; I was still ambivalent—feeling both worldly and a bit spoiled with so many people starving in the world.  We eventually sent everyone to bed and started our movie.  We were antsy; it just wasn’t doing it for us.  So we gathered all the kids again and asked them if they wanted to ceremoniously christen our new purchase.  We felt so us as we cuddled together as a family and watched IMAX’s Under the Sea.  Just the way Valentine’s Day seems to work out best in our family.