Finding it

Just this afternoon I was looking for the microwave cover that we put over our plates to prevent splatters (please don’t barrage me with why that’s bad for our food and us, I’ve read the same stuff) but it wasn’t in the usual places, namely in our microwave, on top of our microwave, or in the sink.  But why on earth would I spend good time fretting about it, validating myself with, “I know it’s here.  Where else would it be?  It’s got to be around here somewhere.”  I already knew that.  I knew it’d show up.  It’s big and visible.  Who knows why items are in weird places in our house sometimes?  Like the Dawn dish soap on the edge of the jetted tub?  Regular-sized, orange-handled scissors in my make-up drawer in the bathroom?  Old nylons with the bee equipment?  (If you must know, a) they were washing our puppy and that was the least smelly soap we could think of; we didn’t want it trying to rub the smell of flowers or Axe off in the muddy grass. b) I like to have scissors nearby to cut my tubes of cream and foundation in half so I can get to the rest of the stuff inside—you know how I hate to waste, and I hate those loops of fabric or ribbon inside all my clothes, so it’s nice to have a way to get rid of them, plus I like to have scissors close so I can wrap gifts in my room.  c) The nylons are for straining the wax and impurities from the honey Todd collects.) 

Anyway, point being, I knew there was a logical reason our cover wasn’t nearby.  It’d show up.  I knew if I would just go about my regular tidying up, it would present itself in an obvious manner.  Which it did.  Later on I was emptying the dishwasher and it was right there, all clean, ready to go.  I’d almost forgotten I was even looking for it but was glad to have it back.

And our kids all know the drill.  When they come looking for something, they seem to stop and almost chant along with me, rolling their eyes (of course), “Clean up to find it.”  I guess it’s the efficient side of me, but I can’t stand spending time looking for items I know are here but that I just can’t seem to find.  The quickest and easiest way I know to find something I’ve misplaced is to simply go about my regular cleaning up, putting things in their places, just continuing on with life, not stressing about it.  It’s bound to show up eventually, I just can’t see why I’d let something like that get under my skin.

As I was continuing with my cleaning and tidying and emptying the dishwasher this afternoon, I thought how true this is with the questions we have in life.  Even with something as valuable as a tax document (still waiting to see where I put the vehicle registrations) or a foundational concern like “Why did He let that happen?”, we can essentially move on and quit stressing.  We do this by “cleaning up” (and by asking for a little help).

Just as I need to file my papers in order to find lost documents (done, I know I put them somewhere safe) or unload the van to find my lipstick tubes I’ve lost (on my list), we need to continue to do our part to find what we’ve lost in other realms of life.  “Cleaning up” is simply putting ourselves in order, doing what we have control over, and giving up the stress of not knowing.

To me, that means keeping up with the basics:  dishes, laundry, filing, so that things don’t pile up until we don’t have a chance in the world of finding anything.  Likewise, it means keeping up with the spiritual basics:  talking to God, reading and learning about Christ, living like Him.  If we’re far from Him, how can we expect to recognize an answer from Him even when it’s right in front of us? That’s all stuff we can control.  Maybe someone moved the flat iron or the drill without telling you, maybe you just haven’t heard much about what happens after this life.  Let it go.  It will all surface in due time.  Even when it’s important, leave it for now.  Is it really that urgent?  Worth the negative energy?  Getting upset over?  If your ring is in the little cap of your crockery on the counter and you just don’t remember that, it will still be there days from now.  Don’t go ruining everyone’s today making them all late simply because you have got to find it before you leave.  Settle. It will still be there, it will all work out.  Likewise, don’t pummel God because you didn’t get an answer the first time you asked and you’ve absolutely got to know today or else you’re done.  That’s dumb.  You should know by now He doesn’t work like that.  His ways are perfect, in their manner and in their timing.  Settle.  You’ll find your answers, they aren’t going anywhere.  Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there.  They haven’t moved.

The interesting thing, the thing I can’t get over, is how often He helps me find whatever I’m looking for.  I hesitate to ask, especially with the little things.  I figure He’s got a universe to run, helping me find a book I know I own to loan my friend or my running shoe insert the dogs had been chewing on or just the quote I’d been thinking of should be pretty low on His To-Do List for the day. But I’m amazed, blown away, by how He comes through for me.  I’m in awe of how often my questions are answered (eventually), but it’s more noticeable when I’ve asked for help with something.  Even in a tiny, only-if-you-have-time-and-don’t-have-anything-else-going-on sort of way.  I try to write them down, which is how I know how often this happens.  Just this week I was getting frustrated trying to find an audio book to listen to while I painted, I’d spent a good fifteen minutes wasting my time on figuring this out, and then I thought to test Him, maybe He could help.  A quick, almost non-question, I was so embarrassed by how lame and unimportant it was.  Immediately—I mean immediately—an idea came to my mind.  Not just a random book idea, but the perfect book idea.

Maybe trite to think of all the items I can’t quite put my finger on as being on par with life’s questions that I just can’t make sense of or that I still don’t answers to still.  And yet, I know it’s a technique that’s always worked for me.  I keep my eyes open for the items that I’ve lost, and I keep a list of questions about life and death in the backs of my journals.  Every now and then I’ll find an item or an answer and immediately smile. I nearly chuckle as I thank God, because it was all so obviously there the whole time.  A million confirmations that He’s there. Just interesting how, as we put our worries aside for a time and refuse to get all worked up about them, as we go about our regular life, doing our small part to carry on with life, “cleaning” as we go, eventually we find what we were looking for.