Hopes for our graduate

I know these were mostly good years for you.  You took some interesting classes, tried out a few sports, saw our political system first-hand as a page, did some scouting, earned a bit of money, honed a few skills, and had some good friends.  That’s why it’s a time of ambivalence and even a little sadness, there have been some good times and you’ve got a portfolio of memories to carry with you.  I know, it’s hard to leave the years of being a kid behind and push forward, knowing for a time it will seem all uphill as you start the next phase of schooling and begin life as a grown-up.  But I hope you’ve taken some notes and that you’ll remember some of the lessons you’ve learned.

I hope, above all, that you know by now that it’s all about relationships and how you treat people.  I hope it’s solid in your mind that your family loves you, that nothing you do can change the unconditional love we have for you.  I hope that security will allow you to love others deeply, to invite them into your circle, your life, and your heart.  That you will constantly look for people who need a real friend, that you will be like a brother to people, that you will continue to practice this and learn what it means to really love others, especially the ones who seem unlovable.

I hope you will continue to include a variety of people in your life.  That you won’t exclude people or shy away from people who are different.  Every single person is better than you in some area.  Everyone can teach you something.  And you can share yourself and what makes you unique with people around you.  I hope you will have an open mind and heart, that you will be true to yourself and who you are, and that you will learn to love others as Christ does.

I hope you will continue to be grateful, and that you will become more so.  I hope you’ll have experiences and moments that will shock you, that will help you realize how blessed you’ve been.  And I hope you will use your blessings to improve the lives of people you meet.  I hope you will be generous with your gifts, your time, your means, and your talents.  I hope you will use all that you’ve been given so abundantly to lighten the burdens of others and to make others happy.

I hope you will come to value your education and the joy of learning.  I hope you’ll keep reading.  I hope you will expand your mind, that you will explore different ideas and ways of looking at life.  I hope you will take what you know and add to it.  Let others share their perspectives; be respectful.  Look for truth—it’s all around you.  And remember what you know to be true and cling to that.

I hope you appreciate your youth and health and the blessing of a strong body.  It will eventually become weak, it happens to all of us.  I hope you will keep your eyes open for ways you can serve and use your vitality for good.  Watch for old ladies who need help with heavy things, be the first to volunteer to help people move.  Help with yard work and community projects.  I hope you will take care of your body and use its power for good.  Respect it and treat it well.  And be grateful for it everyday.  It is an awesome gift.

I hope you make time to be in nature.  We’ve taken you outside ever since you were a baby.  We’ve taken you hiking and camping and on walks all your life.  You’ve spent weeks fishing in Minnesota, days hiking in the mountains of Montana, hours and hours on your bike and on the slopes.  You love beautiful scenery and have always taken pictures, surrounding yourself with inspiring photos.  Continue to carve out some time to be in the trees, to view the world from the mountain top, to experience storms and snow and rain.  Spend time alone in the quiet.  And then share it with others, invite them to experience nature’s beauty with you.

I hope you continue to create and use your talents and develop new skills.  You started a book back when you were a kid, I’d love to see you pick up that hobby again.  Use your imagination, be confident, ask people to teach you what they know and what they’re good at.  Develop what you uniquely have to share with the world.  I hope you will encourage others to do the same.  Learn to appreciate what others excel at.  And tell them.

I hope you will remember your manners.  That you will treat others with respect, including yourself.  That you will never degrade women and that you will encourage other young men to be gentlemen themselves and to treat women as ladies.  I hope you will say please and thank you.  And that you will send thank you notes without me telling you to.  I hope you will look other adults in the eyes and acknowledge them and what they have to say.  I hope you will never be distracted by office or rank or degrees or money.  Treat all people equally and with dignity.

I hope you will come back.  To visit.  I know you are capable and independent and self-sufficient.  You will be fine.  But I hope you will remember your siblings and how much they look up to you.  I hope you will teach them what you’re learning and share with them what you’re experiencing, that you will look at them through new eyes, and that you will appreciate the joy of having been part their lives.  I hope you will take them on bike rides and hikes and that you will play games with them when you come back during your breaks.  I hope you will tell them about your experiences as a missionary.  I hope you will share what you learn.  I hope you will tell them in your own ways how much they’ve meant to you.

More than anything, like I told you in the beginning, and as I’ve told you every time you’ve left the house or gone to bed, I love you.  I will always, always love you.  I never knew love could be this strong.  I cried with overwhelming happiness when I first saw you, I couldn’t help it.  And I only feel that love more deeply now after 17 years with you.  I hope you know that.