I was just dusting, a chore I actually like but have outsourced to my kids over the years. However, because we’re still working on some things in our family, the dusting doesn’t always get done and so I decided to work on the past weeks’ accumulation. Normally over the years I’d simply use a damp rag (because I’m both cheap and trying to avoid chemicals but to be honest I’m super inconsistent with both…). But I was helping on a project earlier this spring and came across a dusting spray that is both natural and intoxicatingly deliciously-scented. I soon relegated that happy dusting morning with that lovely spray to my memory as a nice indulgence but unnecessary in my life and moved past it. But later I decided that for $3 over the span of a year (or more, most likely, considering how lame we are at getting around to it) I would splurge. And what a happy treat! I love the smell on my cloth, wafting from room to room, leaving its little lingering remembrance trail. Sigh.
Likewise, for floors I have generally used vinegar or ammonia, old school, cheap, efficient. But (this is where I’m inconsistent) I’ve always loved (*loved*) the smell of Mr. Clean. So I started buying my own little bottle every now and then when I was feeling like a little splurge; and, just like that, the simple task of mopping has elevated itself in my eyes. Such a small indulgence, a little brightness to an otherwise monotonous chore. (And please don’t tell me how bad the chemicals are for me or that I’m killing the environment and that clean doesn’t have a smell. I already know.)
I love the candle I found in an antique shop over the summer. I did buy myself a yummy one last Christmas for my birthday, a rare luxury to be sure. But truly, it is a dream to have a beautifully-smelling house even for a couple of hours (till it’s time to cook up garlic for dinner). My 13 year old noticed it right off yesterday, something like pumpkin and fall and apples. I know! It made me happy too!
I bought myself a tablecloth this week at Target. I have done that now three times in my life so far. Once was for a prom dinner and the other was earlier this year. I felt guilty both times that they were just for fun. And yet for less than $20, I’ve been cheered day after day after day, thrilling every time I’ve come into the kitchen. The one I got yesterday is versatile, our favorite look, sturdy and practical. (I hate cleaning the grooves in our table, a milk and crumb cesspool/graveyard. We use our table a lot, and so I love, love, love my tablecloths!)
I love that my family noticed that I’d put out our fall things. We don’t have many. The house is kind of spread out, so we have to make it all stretch. But they are so cute to notice the few leaves and pumpkins that appeared while they were at school. I love just sitting in our living room taking it all in, whether I’m taking an afternoon siesta or gathering with the family for prayer at night, just feeling fall. I’m so glad not only for these moments of peace between activities, but it makes me happy to have created a little warmth for our family as well.
I’m not afraid or even embarrassed to admit I’ll have a couple of cookies most days after lunch (if we have any). Another small but fun little treat, but especially if they’re my copy-cat Great Harvest ones with whole wheat flour and molasses, delectable! I forgo any guilt, remind myself this is why I work out and buy loose shirts, and just enjoy the moment.
It was earlier this morning, after a rambunctious welcome-to-your-new-day stint, that our ten-week old pup climbed up on my lap and rested his tiny chin on my arm as I typed here at the computer. Such softness! Such warmth! His cocooned body fit perfectly in my arms. I needed to get on with my day. It was 7 and Todd still wasn’t up, we had things to do. But I lingered. And I just did it again now. We just sat holding each other, looking at each other. And just soaked in the coziness of the moment, content and unrushed and undeterred.
I remember many mornings and moments just like these over a decade ago when little Bronwyn was home alone with me while the older kids were at school. She’d be playing quietly with her cars while I’d be taking care of the breakfast dishes and often she’d just come up to me and petition me, “I want to cuddle.” I knew instinctively these were pivotal moments, ones I needed to pay attention to and not just brush aside or put off. Inevitably I’d have to extricate myself from the rubber gloves, but then we’d head to the couch, she’d crawl on my lap, and I’d just hold her. Mostly we didn’t do anything at all. Just held on to each other and breathed. It melted my heart every single time. I rarely do things as a mom that I can look back on and assuredly feel like I got it right. But these are memories etched in my mind forever, and I can definitively tell you that I was doing exactly what I need to be doing, that these tiny moments together were perfect. Now she’s a 13 year old 8th grader and a little more guarded. Not that I don’t just hold her and hug her still, but it’s still a little different. So I’m thankful for those nudges so many years ago that helped create closeness that would cradle us over the years.
I’m grateful for the few minutes I have alone in the dark of morning. For the tiny glimpses of something bigger than me and my everyday life as I read, for the promptings I have to change things about myself and ideas that come when I’m less distracted and more focused. I thrill watching the sun peek its head, stretching quietly, just like my teenagers who stumble through a little while later, foraging for fuel. I’m so grateful I’m awake to see them, to just to be here.
This week I’ve been with friends in all sorts of settings, on the phone, in line, on a walk, at school, on our couches, in our kitchens, at xc, it’s been heavenly. Just small interactions, a few were an hour or more, but some were just a few minutes or even just a quick hello. But what joy stems from even these brief interactions, hugs and affirmations of common ground and friendship. How grateful I am for these tiny bright spots in my days.
I’ve found myself standing on the gate just watching the chickens eat the watermelon and corn cobs I’ve just tossed to them. I love their clucking voices and wonder what they’re communicating to each other. I like to see them run with enthusiasm, eating with haste, enjoying all the morsels provided them, interacting and engaging in some secret code. It warms my heart to see our animals happy, to pet our cows, to work up close beside them, knowing it’s safe, feeling calm and centered just being together outside where the air is fresh and relaxing.
I wonder if we’re living by the cliche to stop and smell the roses. I wonder if we’re taking note of these tiny moments, our familiar relationships, the commonplace beauties, even smells and tastes of everyday life. I wonder if we’re really enjoying our pets instead of just shuttling them to the vet and their kennels and feeding them. I wonder if we take the time to really sit with our kids and talk or just to be with them. I wonder if we ever do that enough with our friends. I wonder if we appreciate what it a joy it is to experience life.
I guess I just feel like these are the atoms of our days, these tiny, seemingly insignificant moments. Strung together, this is what makes life beautiful and worthwhile. We don’t need to wait for our trip to Italy or for our kids to grow up or for our puppies to stop having accidents or for the chores to be done. We can thrill in the everyday, the present, the bits and pieces of regular life.
And so I’m grateful my house smells inviting sometimes, even if it’s only when I’m alone with my cleaning rag; it lifts my spirits and makes me smile. I love my little fall pillows, the few minutes in the darkening cold I spent last night in the raspberries. I love the planes that fly over our house every night right before 10, a soothing and habitual sound I’ve come to anticipate and enjoy. I love the calming spray of sprinklers in the summer mornings. I relished my little nap under a tree yesterday, the din of athletes and parents around me, the wind brushing past, all of it soothing me to sleep. I inhale the smell of clean sheets and smile when the kids take time choosing just the right deodorant based solely on its fragrance. I’m thankful for the friends who choose to send a text just to say hi, who share their hearts and lives with me. I’m grateful for the sound of my college son’s voice over the phone, the jingling of our sleigh bells on our front door announcing someone we love is home. I’m so grateful for the whisperings—from both my husband and God—over the years reminding me to slow down, to ponder, to appreciate, to pay attention, to listen, to be present, to notice and indulge in the small wonders and beauties of everyday blessings, comforts, and moments. Because it has made all the difference.
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