It’s not like we haven’t done this before, this is our second son who’s heading out this week. He’s already done a year at college, but letting him go on his mission for two years is kind of a step up, just a little more intense away-ness. A lot of you know what it entails, two years of emails and handwritten letters, a phone or Skype visit on Mother’s Day and Christmas. Thousands of families do it every year, and it’s honestly one of the greatest stints of a young person’s life. Our family has cherished the experience and we’ve actually missed having a missionary out and look forward to starting up again.
I loved our email exchanges, writing back and forth on Monday mornings. It thrilled me to see a handwritten letter from our son in our mailbox every Friday. We anticipated Mother’s Day and Christmas like never before and became shy all of a sudden when faced with a phone and familiar but unseen voice.
I think our family was exquisitely blessed by having a missionary out in super subtle but real ways. It felt like a shroud of peace was draped over our family, sort of like when your mom comes in your cold room early in the morning and covers you up with the warm blankets you’ve kicked off during the night, just that comforting feeling of serenity and security and warmth. It’s not like our lives became necessarily peaceful in the traditional sense, we still had a lot going on. But we felt our relationships soften. We felt a lot of love and warmth in our family. Things just worked out. Our kids showed a closeness I didn’t see before, I feel like we become tighter as a family.
Andrew learned and changed in incredible ways during his time away from us as he served and studied and focused on other people. It was the best learning experience of his life, to step away from us and to have the time and space to really delve into what he believed, to figure it out for himself. After nearly twenty years with us, all it took was two years away from us to solidify all the things we were trying to teach him. Best investment ever.
And so we’re stoked. We can’t wait for Mitchell to get going and to start hearing his experiences. And yet, we are going to miss him like crazy. Thankfully, the months he spent away from us at college have prepared us for his pending absence. But it is definitely not the same as getting a random phone call on the way to class or on Sunday nights. We will miss the holidays with him watching movies and playing games and discussing politics and the news of the world. We will miss hugging him and dancing with him, his laugh, his vast knowledge, his presence.
But we have been soaking it all up for a few months now and have cherished our unexpected extra time together, especially heartwarming when Andrew was here for a couple of weeks and our family was all together again. It was surreal, I couldn’t believe all five of our kids were with us again. I was surprised by how much more work it was with larger meals and keeping tabs on all their comings and goings and shopping for school/college/mission clothes. Money flew out of our hands, hundreds, just like that. But it was a time in our family that I will cherish forever. Some of my favorite memories this summer were at the temple with the kids. Once I took just Andrew and Mitchell, a little mom in between her two grown up boys. Another summer morning Mitchell came with me and all the littles. I know this happens all the time, but there really is just nothing like being in such a sacred place together. Those few times together in the temple are forever etched in my mom memory.
On the more everyday days of summer, Mitchell spent a significant amount of time working at Great Harvest, mowing, and chopping wood for us. He worked out a bit, stayed out late with his one friend who was left, and watched random videos for hours and hours. He read thick books and engaged us in political, social, and space talk. He did dishes and cleaned the bathroom. He played games and ran our errands for us. He worked at the temple, we shopped for clothes.
It’s such an unusual period of time, just a couple months in limbo, not really here or there, just sort of biding time. All his friends are at school or serving missions of their own and so we became his people, his entertainment, his audience, his sounding board, his social life. I’ve loved having his company during the long quiet days with the kids in school. I love having a friend to run errands with and to shop with, and I’m going to miss our comraderie.
But as nice as our little vacation from normal life has been, we all sense it’s getting to be time. Young adults can’t thrive at home for long. They need to be actively engaged in pursuits of their own. They do best when they’re with other young people, when they’ve got a schedule and a plan, a purpose for their life. It’s not enough to wake up just to work a few hours with little else of substance to fill in the day. Thankfully, we sense that it’s time to move on, that although our time together has been a welcome respite and gift, we all need to get back to work and real life. He’s anxious to move into the next phase of his life, and I’m ok with getting back into the swing of what I normally do since I’ve sort of put things on hold as much as possible, just wanting to savor our last few weeks and days together. While we’re sad to see this precious time together come to an end, we’re more than ok with it. We know there’s really nothing more we can do for him here at home. We’ve taught him what we know, and now we can hardly wait to hear about what happens next.
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