An unencumbered Christmas season

Sadly, the Christmas season is a short one this year. Like most of you, I have lists and expectations, and yet I feel inclined to share with you what I’m learning. One of the main reasons I share my thoughts with you is so that you have the benefit of my mistakes. Many years ago we decided to keep traditions that felt like us and let go of expectations that are less meaningful and that just keep me busy. So don’t hate us because we don’t bring you homemade fudge and double dipped chocolates. I decided that those of you who know us will know we care about you based on interactions we share throughout the year, and you will have to trust that.  I’m more inclined to go with what I feel like rather than what looks right.  So I may have a few little friends over for lunch instead of making fancy teacher gifts.  (I don’t know how to make anything fancy.)  And I don’t always do teacher gifts at Christmas.  Let’s be honest, sometimes I skip teacher gifts altogether.  (This year we did Todd’s honey at Thanksgiving that took maybe ten minutes to pull together.  That feels like us.  Crafting makes me irritable.)

I feel torn every year between wanting to treat my kids and wanting to not spoil them at Christmas.  I want to use our money to help the teens in the community who don’t even have a bed, but do we give everything we have away and fail to acknowledge the sweet kids sleeping next to us?  These quandaries are ever-present, and yet I feel to make Christmas nice for our family in modest and thoughtful ways.  And that there will be enough somehow (I never understand how this all works out) to give more where it’s needed.  A lesson I always marvel at: in God’s eyes there is always enough.  He never stresses, He calmly tells me our needs and wants will be met.  And that He has plenty to give.

Along these lines, throughout my adult years I have felt heart tugs longing to donate to all poor and cold children in town, to visit the lonely people, to tangibly let new people know they are loved. And yet, how can I do all that in one month alongside concerts, extra school volunteering, church stuff, shopping, cooking and entertaining extra family in town? Let alone find time to read all my sweet Christmas books and watch “It’s a Wonderful Life”? And so, in answer to yet another heart-felt prayer, I was told to not be so concerned about the timing. God doesn’t measure time as we do. He softly showed me that to serve quietly, simply, consistently and individually in various ways throughout the year is ok, that everything doesn’t have to happen in one month. And so that let me exhale, relax and know that small and simple acts spread throughout a year do “count,” that I am not a selfish or stingy person because I can’t do all the good things I want to do in four weeks without getting grumpy.

I learned something else very surprising last season. As most of you, I long to heighten the spirit of our home and family during this season, to think of and act more like Christ, to embed the true meaning of Christmas into the souls of our children. And yet, the more I had tried to make that happen over the years, the more frustrated I became throughout December. Isn’t that weird? I don’t recall how I figured it out, but it finally dawned on me that the Gospel of Christ is JOYFUL, and we are not solemn monks, to be so serious and proper that we miss out on what Christmas is about and what Christ’s life was really for. It is to bring us joy and happiness, and we embrace Christ when we emulate and radiate and share that. And so, on a simple level, it occurred to me that to have the true spirit of Christmas in our home we could do things that would bring us closer as a family, that would help us laugh and have fun, to serve spontaneously and within a realm that is manageable financially and time- and energy-wise. So, last year we spontaneously grabbed the kids one school night to see the lights, another night I made cinnamon rolls and we sat by our fireplace while Todd read a story to us, we walked along the cold festive streets of an old-fashioned town with hot chocolate another night, we helped where we could, I challenged each of us to create or do at least one really thoughtful gift. Just small activities and memories that really made me feel light and happy. I’m not good at exuding joy (I’m such a serious, task-oriented gal), and yet I feel like Heavenly Father has given me something to go on. He wants us to embrace the simple, joyful experiences of this life, to settle ourselves down and to let His love show in everything we do. When we are quiet and peaceful instead of harried and hurried, we can most easily feel and then share the true Spirit of Christmas: Christ.